Top Ten Quotes on Hope

1. “Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
―Emily Dickinson

2. “There is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for.”
―J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers 
 
3.“Only in the darkness can you see the stars.”
―Martin Luther King Jr.

4. “You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.”
―Pablo Neruda

5. “Once you choose hope, anything's possible.”
 ―Christopher Reeve

6. “All it takes is one bloom of hope to make a spiritual garden.”
 ―Terri Guillemets

7. “Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.” ―Lin Yutang

8. “Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there's no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”
―Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke & Bone 

9. “Shoot for the moon, even if you fail, you'll land among the stars”
―Cecelia Ahern, P.S. I Love You 

10. “When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on”
―Theodore Roosevelt    
 

Is it Possible to do a 1 Year Bucket List?

The other day, I mentioned to a group of friends that I had written a "bucket list" for 2015. Immediately, one of my friends stated that a bucket list is usually filled with all of the things that people want to achieve before death. This is undoubtedly true...but I'm still going ahead with my 2015 bucket list anyway. Want to know why? Mostly because there's so many things that I want to do before I die that I'd rather set myself realistic goals to complete for each year.

If I have a set list of things to do each year then I know I'm more likely to get them done. For me, personally, short-term lists and goals make my real bucket list far easier to achieve—especially since I usually get complacent with long-term lists because I believe I have oodles of time to complete them.

That's why I have jotted down 10 achievements that I intend to accomplish before the end of 2015. Perhaps it isn't a bucket list, as such, but the things on my to-do list shall help me complete my actual bucket list (once I make it).

My plans for this year are pretty simple really and they're as follows:

1) Finish writing my novel
2) Be in a play (last year I was a puppeteer in Little Shop of Horrors and played "The Branch of Doom" but I'm looking to progress towards a speaking role)
3) Visit Ireland
4) Visit Scotland
5) Go to Disneyland Paris
6) Attend Comic Con
7) Make a sitcom with two of my close friends
8) Learn to bake
9) Achieve the dream which I'm carrying about in my head
10) Leave current job and enter a new profession


What are your goals for 2015? The list can be as short or as long as you want. Ultimately, it's not about quantity...it's about following the path you want and living the life you want to lead. If you want this year to be better for you then change it and start working towards achieving your dreams. You have that power.

The Top Ten Worst Chat-Up Lines

I don't know whether there's something in the water over here that makes people dish out terrible chat-up lines but I've certainly listened to my fair share. I'm not really sure of the success rate of this style of flirting...but I can't say that I've ever been a fan of pick-up lines.

Today, I'm going to share with you some of the worst chat-up lines that some of my female friends and I have experienced first-hand:


1) "I've never slept with a midget before but I'd rate you 10/10. Let me buy you a drink."

2) "My thing is ten inches long. Come home with me tonight and I'll show you what it's like being with a real man."

3) "If you're Little Red Riding Hood then I'll be your wolf."

4) "So ...what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

5) "If you were a ketchup bottle, I'd give you a squeeze."

6)  "Hope you're not afraid of a big man."

7) "Something's wrong with your phone. It doesn't have my number on it."

8) "Are you looking for a prince to sweep you off your feet? If so, you've just found him."

9) "If being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!"

10) "Are you taking applications for a new boyfriend? If so, I'd like to submit my application because I'm sure I can give you a really good time."

Warning: For any guys reading this, I would advise against using the pick-up lines listed above on any ladies that you want to impress. You may call me old-fashioned but I think a simple compliment or a normal conversation with a guy is far better!

Anyway, has anyone heard any chat-up lines that are worse? Has anyone actually had any success using chat-up lines? What lines have you used or heard someone use? Share your stories and let me know.

5 Tips on How to be Happy

My last two blog posts have focused on ways to alleviate anxiety and build self-esteem. Today, I'm going to give you some tips on ways to achieve happiness. First of all, I need you to understand that—although I will do my best to help—the work must come from you. Only you have the power to make yourself happy and realising that is actually one of the first steps towards achieving lasting happiness.

You see, you doom yourself the moment you rely on other people as your source of happiness. You need to be able to create your own happiness, rather than relying on set events or people. Likewise, you can't depend on future events to make you happy. If you're always looking forwards in hope then you aren't living in the moment and you aren't acknowledging the good you already have in your life.

This may be hard for you at first but you need to release all ideas of the future holding all your happiness. You will be happy in the future—however, if you follow these tips, you can also be happy whilst living in the now.


1) Understand that you are in control of your life and your destiny:

Often, we despair and believe that we are trapped by circumstances. This is not the case. You are in control of your own life and you have the power to change anything that makes you feel unhappy. If you believe that you have no control and if you feel like the victim in a chain of circumstances, you trap yourself into being the victim. Everything we do—even choosing to do nothing—is a choice. If someone does something which upsets us but we don't say anything, we've made that choice not to say anything.

It is your life and you always have control of it in some way.


2) Change your thinking:

Often, we spend a lot of time wishing that things were different. We might find ourselves longing for change or spend a lot of time missing a certain someone. For example, if you've gone through a tough break-up then you might be longing for your ex or desperately wishing for someone to love you again. This is not healthy as it just creates a negative thought process which tells your brain that you are lacking something and that you don't have that. The more you wish you had something, the more you're creating a scenario where you don't have that something. Thoughts are things. Someone who is forever saying that their life never goes right will create a life that never goes right. We attract what we think into our lives.

The good news is that we can change these thoughts. You have access to everything you could ever want but you just need to tap into it.

To do that, you need to start changing the way you phrase things. Do the words 'I don't have' or 'I never' tend to cycle around your thoughts or spill out of your mouth on a daily basis? Do you feel desperate and constantly say to yourself, 'I need this' or 'I want that'? It's important that you catch yourself whenever you start to feel like this. You can access everything you could ever want—but to do that you have to release all feelings of desperation and need. You need to be at peace with who you are now so that all the good things can start coming into your life. When you release the negative, you create a pathway so that the good things can start to come into your life. The faster you release, the faster you manifest positive things into your world.

Think of it like this: Pretend for a moment that negative thoughts are like the night sky. You've gotten a little lost and you're trying to find your way along to get to where you want. However, you're stumbling around in the dark and you can't seem to find a road. The more you panic about getting onto the road you want to take, the darker the sky seems to get. Eventually, you can't see to do anything through that pitch-black night sky and none of the things you'd like seem to come your way. However, by shifting your thoughts to a more positive level consistently, you're effectively handing yourself a torch and allowing shafts of light to illuminate the way again so that you can find the path you want to tread.

Using the present tense, switch your thoughts around to 'I have' or 'I am filled with' etc. because then you're stating that you already have the things you want in your life. In this way, you are telling your brain that everything is okay and you are clearing away any barriers which might have blocked you in the past from having those things in your life. This will help you manifest the good things you do want much faster and your brain will stop thinking that it has been lacking something.

3) Positive Affirmations:

I mentioned this when I spoke in an earlier blog about improving self-esteem. If your happiness has been blocked because you don't feel confident enough then telling yourself positive statements each day will work wonders.

For more details on positive affirmations, check out my previous blog post here.

 
4) Find at least one thing to feel happy or grateful about each day:

Find something in your life that makes you feel grateful and write it down. This could be anything from a friend making you laugh to the sun shining whilst you're out shopping. However simple the thing you're grateful for might be, just write it down. Writing down the things we're grateful for helps to remind us of the positive points in our life and will make us feel better about how we're living.

For Christmas, a friend bought me a 'Happy Box' so that I could jot down one thing every day which made me feel grateful. The 'Happy Box' works sort of like a piggy bank: Every day, you drop into the box a 'happy' note containing something which has made you feel grateful. In later months, if you need a boost, you can crack the box open and look back over all the things which have made you happy. It's a great idea which I've been trying to use daily.

 

5) Catch yourself whenever 'Mr. Doubt' or 'Mrs. Fear' shows up in your brain:

However hard you try, there will be points when you find yourself plagued by fears or doubts. This might come in the form of a doubt niggling at the back of your brain—or a clenching of fear in your gut—which tells you that you can't achieve something for whatever reason. Simply allow those thoughts to enter your brain, acknowledge that you've had them, and then release them. In this way, you accept each thought but you don't give them power. Slowly, those doubts or fears will start to fade over time and you'll feel much happier as a result.

How to Calm Yourself During an Anxiety Attack

The following blog post features some of the exercises which I have used in the past to calm myself during an anxiety attack. Most people experience some anxiety attacks in their life-time―and some can be more extreme than others. I remember a particular episode when a panic attack was so bad out in public that a friend had to come into my toilet cubicle to look after me. My friend sat with me and helped me to focus on my breathing until the attack finally left.

One of the scariest things about anxiety attacks is that we feel we can't take in enough air or control how fast our heart seems to beat―and this is because our breathing changes and gets shallower. By following the breathing exercise below, you'll be able to regulate your breathing, get more oxygen to all parts of your body and calm yourself down.

Trust me, these do work. Last year, I experienced a plethora of anxiety attacks and felt insecure a lot of the time, but I've been working hard to rectify this and the effects are very noticeable. The following tips are designed to help you during an anxiety attack; however, I also want to help you so that you can stop experiencing those anxiety episodes altogether.

Anxiety comes from feeling out of control. When we start to fear that something is going to happen (or someone else is going to do something) which is beyond our control, we panic and that can lead to spells of anxiety. The important thing to remember, though, is that you are always in control. You might not be able to control the circumstances surrounding you...but you can control how you react to them.

Remember, you are not alone. There might be times when you feel utterly lost in a dark labyrinth but that is not reality. In reality, there are friends, family members or support groups available to help you. There are so many self-help books and articles on the web, too. Although only you can ultimately overcome the anxiety attacks, there is a lot of support out there to aid you. 


1) Breathing:

Breathing immediately gets harder during a panic attack. You feel like you aren't getting enough air in, so you panic even more, and end up taking in shallower breaths at an accelerated rate. The good news is that you can stop this cycle.

Simply breathe in through your nose for seven seconds, hold for three seconds, and then slowly exhale through your mouth for eight seconds. Focus on the counting and repeat this technique until you feel yourself calming down. This will help you to get deeper breaths and will give your brain something else to focus on during the attack.


2) Work on loosening those tense muscles:

When we feel anxious, we can tense up without even realising it.

Press your chin down onto your chest and hold for five seconds before slowly bringing your head back up once more. Next, pull your head back and stretch your neck. Roll each shoulder gently until the knots ease.  The feelings of constriction in your upper body are simply caused by your muscles tensing up ―and you have the power to control that and relax those muscles.


3) Release the thought which is making you anxious:


I realise this is easier said than done. However, there are ways to release the negative thoughts and there are certain techniques which can stop the anxiety from taking hold of you. Remember, you control your body and your mind. You have the power to fix it.

So, how do you release the thoughts? There's a variety of ways. When I knew I was about to panic about some irrational fear, I used to change the scenario in my head to one that was OTT and extremely silly. For example, if I was afraid of being told off for something then I would imagine that person shouting at me in a Donald Duck voice. If you can laugh at your fears and make them as silly as possible then the thoughts stop being quite so real and you can move on from them.

During a panic attack, it also helps to actually listen to your thoughts. If you're panicking then stop fighting the thought and acknowledge that your body is having a panic attack. Don't try to push the thoughts away. The harder you try not to think about it, the more your brain will want to think about it.

For example, I'm going to tell you right now that you absolutely must not think about a hippo wearing a pink tutu.

So, what's the first thing your brain pictured just then? Probably a hippo wearing a pink tutu. That's because telling your brain it cannot do something automatically makes it fixate even more. You have to be a bit sneaky and allow yourself to think about the problem. That doesn't mean sinking into the problem, of course. You're simply hearing your brain's complaint and then letting it go. You've listened to yourself and now you have no reason to hold onto that thought anymore. You can release it.

Something which I've found helpful is mentally asking, 'What are you trying to tell me, body?' By listening to yourself, you acknowledge the thought and can let go. You give yourself the power to remove the fear.


4) Ground yourself:

Grip hold of the objects around you at the time. Notice how your feet feel when they're touching the carpeted floor, concentrate on how heavy your palms are when they're resting on the tops of your jeans, and live in the moment. Be mindful of everything around you and you will slowly be able to pull yourself out of the panic attack.

Tip: Try this technique whenever your mind starts to drift. In time, your thoughts will focus on the now, rather than fearing what could happen in the future. 

4) Meditation:

I know meditation isn't for everyone but there's no doubt that it can have a calming effect on the brain. However, if you―like me―struggle to empty your thoughts then I recommend listening to music to help. I was most prone to panic attacks before bed, as my brain had more time to fixate on worries at that point, so I tend to put on some light relaxing music before attempting sleep.

In particular, I find Louise Hay's subliminal messaging CDs particularly helpful. Not only is the music highly relaxing, but her subliminal messages can also fix any issues with self-esteem or anxiety.

For more information on Louise Hay, check out her website.

3 Tips for Improving Self-Esteem

Only you can improve your self-esteem but―by following these tips―hopefully that will become easier for you with each new day.
 

1. Write down and say positive affirmations daily:

Often, if situations are particularly stressful, we can get into a rut of negative thinking. Thoughts rattle around in our brains on a demon circuit and seem to get trapped there. Once a negative thought pops into our brain, we tend to fixate on it and find it hard to let go.

Using positive affirmations daily can help change this pattern so that you feel better about yourself. Instead of saying 'I can't do this because...' change your thoughts to 'I can do this!' If you believe something can happen, you open yourself up to being able to make it happen. Similarly, if you believe something is impossible then you can doom yourself to never getting what you want. Shake away any mental blocks you've created and believe.

As Audrey Hepburn rather famously said, 'Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible!' '

Write down a list of positive things to say about yourself each day. Remember to use the present tense for all of your affirmations and choose your words carefully. Avoid words which hold negative connotations and make sure your affirmations are positive statements. To work properly, your affirmations need to be read out like facts. This will help you believe them more.

As a starting point, I found some of the following affirmations helpful:

I am successful and motivated
I achieve my dreams
I am worthy of love
I welcome happiness into my life
I choose to be happy
I make the right choices for myself
I trust myself
I forgive myself for any past mistakes and let go of anything that might keep me from achieving my dreams.
New opportunities and possibilities come to me easily

As a tip, if you feel a pleasant warm sensation when you say the words then they're right for you. If you feel a clenching in your gut then keep working on the phrasing until the words feel better. You want to feel good when you read your affirmations so that your brain will associate those words with feelings with happiness.

Once you have your list, spend a few minutes every morning and evening saying your affirmations. Believe in the words and your own self-worth. You have the power to make yourself happy. Everything you need is within your grasp.


2. Trust and believe in yourself:

Ever wondered why some people seem to be so successful whilst others struggle? Part of the reason why is often their attitude. They believe they can get something and so they receive it. It's called the Law of Attraction and I'll go into that in a bit more detail in a later article. Basically, believe that you deserve the very best and good things will come to you.

3. Don't compare yourself to other people:

If you constantly compare yourself to other people, you will never be happy. You are a person in own your own right and you are the perfect form of yourself. Be content with who you are and don't feel insecure. The fact is that the people around you probably love you and want to be with you for who you are already.


Bonus Tip:

4. Smile at yourself in front of the mirror daily:

This may sound strange but if you spend a few minutes each day smiling at yourself in front of the mirror then you will start to feel happier in general. It's a mistake to think we only smile when feel happy. Often enough, we can feel happy because we're smiling.

For people with a low body image, standing in front of a mirror and smiling can make all the difference. By smiling at your reflection, you're telling your brain that you are happy with the way you look―and this will help you to increase your confidence.

10 Romantic Things To Do For Dates

I've always loved the dating period and I really enjoy keeping the magic of a relationship going through the odd date night. After all, sometimes it's nice to schedule in a little one-to-one time with your partner. However, trying to find different things to do for those dates can be decidedly less fun.

To help out anyone else experiencing that headache, I've scribbled down a few ideas and suggestions below of things that might be fun to do on dates:


1. Cinema:

Cinema dates can be great fun for couples. There's something rather wonderful about sharing tubs of ice-cream and packets of popcorn together whilst at the cinema. The only issue is that you and your partner might have different eating speeds. For example, I used to dip my hand into a packet of popcorn―only to find myself left with a handful of crumbs (and a suspiciously guilty-faced partner).

Can't afford the cinema? How about having a romantic DVD night at home instead? My ex-boyfriend and I used to curl up together frequently and watch cheap DVDs or films on Netflix. Staying in can be just as romantic as going out.

2. A romantic dinner at a bistro or restaurant:


Dressing up nicely and going out for a meal can be a fantastic treat. You and your partner get to see each other dolled up in fancy clothes and you can both chat away to each other whilst everything else is taken care of for you.

However, if you cannot afford a romantic meal out somewhere then cooking something up at home can be just as romantic. My ex-boyfriend used to cook me the most amazing fajitas and then we would cuddle up and indulge in a spot of ice-cream. A few candles and a little effort will do the job just as brilliantly as going out to any restaurant or bistro.

3. Ice-skating:

Although it's fair to say that I've never managed to look particularly graceful whilst attempting to find my footing on the ice, ice-skating is a great way to spend a few hours with someone you love. Whether you're wobbling around and attempting to stay upright, clinging to your partner's hand, or chasing each other around the rink, there's a wealth of different things to do on the ice.


4. Bowling:

Bowling can be great fun, especially during double-dates. Add in a little friendly competition or a dash of healthy banter and you've got yourself an exciting evening of entertainment.


5. Picnic:

A picnic in a park or on a grassy verge somewhere is absolute bliss. Simply prepare a few sandwiches and some of your favourite bites to eat and then head out somewhere nice for the day. There's something quite lovely about sharing food and exchanging kisses with your partner whilst the breeze is breathing across your skin and tickling through your hair. Better still, it's an extremely cheap date!

6. A romantic beach or countryside walk:

Obviously, if you live in a built-up area then this might be harder. However, I've always loved strolling along the beach at sunset, watching the waning sun splash brilliant hues of liquid amber and hazy magenta across the sky―and it's even better when you have someone with you to share the view.

7. Bushcrafting, kayaking or rock climbing:

In my part of the country, there's no shortage of adventurous outdoor activities to do with your partners. My ex really loved fitness so this was a perfect way for us to have fun on a romantic level with each other.

8. A trip to the theatre to see a musical or pantomime:


If you want something a little fun or light-hearted then a pantomime can be absolute perfect. Actively encouraging audience participation, pantomimes are great fun and highly immersive. If you're stuck for ideas then it is definitely worth checking out what's going on at your local theatre.

Failing that, there's usually a wealth of plays or musicals around to watch. If you can't afford to see a professional musical in London then try going to a few local amateur productions. In my area, there's a plethora of local talent and productions are always highly polished.


9. Spontaneous trip to Paris:

For people living in the United Kingdom, taking a day trip to Paris could not be easier or cheaper these days. Hopping onto the Eurostar can get you from London to Paris in just 2 hours for as little as £70 pp return. (For more information: Eurostar website)

NB: If Paris isn't that close to you then you can always grab your car keys and go on a road trip somewhere closer for a couple of days.

10. Scuba-diving or snorkelling:

This is a great idea for anyone who enjoys exploring or adventuring. Snorkelling, in particular, is one of the easiest underwater activities to enjoy and is very simple to learn.  There's something relaxing and exhilarating about venturing into shallow waters together to seek out different types of sea life.

Best Homemade Gift to Give a Loved One

During my time with my last ex-boyfriend, I worked really hard trying to think of an anniversary present that would be really meaningful. I was happy to get something material for him but I also wanted something that he could look at fondly each day, too. It's fair to say that the creative juices were not running high that afternoon though and I was utterly stumped about what to do. Anyone who knows me can clarify that I like to get organised months in advance and I was determined to put a lot of effort into ensuring that my gift was something he would remember.

As with all matters, I took to the internet in the hopes of getting some inspiration and I'm pleased to say that I wasn't disappointed. Before long, I stumbled across a beautiful idea that I was certain would not disappoint. It turns out a guy on Reddit had ingeniously shown his love for his girlfriend by creating an incredibly touching and meaning 365 Day Love Jar. (More info: Reddit)

The idea is actually really simple. You simply take an old jam jar or something similar and fill it to the brim with 365 loving notes for your partner. The partner then picks one note out each day and gets an instant pick-me-up. The Reddit guy even colour-coded his notes so that his girlfriend could pick out whatever she fancied on that day. For example, his categories were:

My categories were pretty much identical:

1) Reasons why I love you
2) Fond memories we've shared together
3) Loving quotes that remind me of our relationship.

To ensure I had the right amount of quotes, I craftily used the numbering in Microsoft Word to make sure that I knew how many notes I'd made (it would have been a touch embarrassing if I had told my partner that I'd made 365 love notes and then it turned out I had only made 363) and then removed the numbers at the end before printing. I printed each different category out onto different coloured sheets of paper, cut the notes out, folded them up neatly and then started to fill up the jar with them.


Your reasons for loving someone can be anything. For example, some of my notes were as follows:

Cautionary Warning:

Make sure you give your jam jar to your partner before any fights or arguments. My partner and I sadly broke up before I had fully finished putting 365 love notes in my jar and I'm still a little gutted that I never got to show it to him.

Also, if you know that your partner balks at sentimental words and might find it overly-loving then I'd look elsewhere for the perfect gift. That being said, I never used to enjoy sentimentality one jot...but I'd be pretty happy to receive this from someone who truly loved me.

Cherish the love you've shared and give your partner something truly wonderful. It's so brilliant looking back over all the great moments you've shared and it really helps you to treasure what you have with your partner.  I'm sure it'll put a smile on your partner's face every morning when they dip into that jar and pull out a new note.