Showing posts with label be proactive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label be proactive. Show all posts

Thursday, 22 January 2015

Is it Possible to do a 1 Year Bucket List?

The other day, I mentioned to a group of friends that I had written a "bucket list" for 2015. Immediately, one of my friends stated that a bucket list is usually filled with all of the things that people want to achieve before death. This is undoubtedly true...but I'm still going ahead with my 2015 bucket list anyway. Want to know why? Mostly because there's so many things that I want to do before I die that I'd rather set myself realistic goals to complete for each year.




If I have a set list of things to do each year then I know I'm more likely to get them done. For me, personally, short-term lists and goals make my real bucket list far easier to achieveespecially since I usually get complacent with long-term lists because I believe I have oodles of time to complete them.

That's why I have jotted down 10 achievements that I intend to accomplish before the end of 2015. Perhaps it isn't a bucket list, as such, but the things on my to-do list shall help me complete my actual bucket list (once I make it).

My plans for this year are pretty simple really and they're as follows:

1) Finish writing my novel
2) Be in a play (last year I was a puppeteer in Little Shop of Horrors and played "The Branch of Doom" but I'm looking to progress towards a speaking role)
3) Visit Ireland
4) Visit Scotland
5) Go to Disneyland Paris
6) Attend Comic Con
7) Make a sitcom with two of my close friends
8) Learn to bake
9) Achieve the dream which I'm carrying about in my head
10) Leave current job and enter a new profession



What are your goals for 2015? The list can be as short or as long as you want. Ultimately, it's not about quantity...it's about following the path you want and living the life you want to lead. If you want this year to be better for you then change it and start working towards achieving your dreams. You have that power.



Saturday, 10 January 2015

How to Calm Yourself During an Anxiety Attack

The following blog post features some of the exercises which I have used in the past to calm myself during an anxiety attack. Most people experience some anxiety attacks in their life-timeand some can be more extreme than others. I remember a particular episode when a panic attack was so bad out in public that a friend had to come into my toilet cubicle to look after me. My friend sat with me and helped me to focus on my breathing until the attack finally left.

One of the scariest things about anxiety attacks is that we feel we can't take in enough air or control how fast our heart seems to beatand this is because our breathing changes and gets shallower. By following the breathing exercise below, you'll be able to regulate your breathing, get more oxygen to all parts of your body and calm yourself down.

Trust me, these do work. Last year, I experienced a plethora of anxiety attacks and felt insecure a lot of the time, but I've been working hard to rectify this and the effects are very noticeable. The following tips are designed to help you during an anxiety attack; however, I also want to help you so that you can stop experiencing those anxiety episodes altogether.

Anxiety comes from feeling out of control. When we start to fear that something is going to happen (or someone else is going to do something) which is beyond our control, we panic and that can lead to spells of anxiety. The important thing to remember, though, is that you are always in control. You might not be able to control the circumstances surrounding you...but you can control how you react to them.



Remember, you are not alone. There might be times when you feel utterly lost in a dark labyrinth but that is not reality. In reality, there are friends, family members or support groups available to help you. There are so many self-help books and articles on the web, too. Although only you can ultimately overcome the anxiety attacks, there is a lot of support out there to aid you. 


1) Breathing:

Breathing immediately gets harder during a panic attack. You feel like you aren't getting enough air in, so you panic even more, and end up taking in shallower breaths at an accelerated rate. The good news is that you can stop this cycle.

Simply breathe in through your nose for seven seconds, hold for three seconds, and then slowly exhale through your mouth for eight seconds. Focus on the counting and repeat this technique until you feel yourself calming down. This will help you to get deeper breaths and will give your brain something else to focus on during the attack.


2) Work on loosening those tense muscles:

When we feel anxious, we can tense up without even realising it.

Press your chin down onto your chest and hold for five seconds before slowly bringing your head back up once more. Next, pull your head back and stretch your neck. Roll each shoulder gently until the knots ease.  The feelings of constriction in your upper body are simply caused by your muscles tensing up and you have the power to control that and relax those muscles.


3) Release the thought which is making you anxious:


I realise this is easier said than done. However, there are ways to release the negative thoughts and there are certain techniques which can stop the anxiety from taking hold of you. Remember, you control your body and your mind. You have the power to fix it.

So, how do you release the thoughts? There's a variety of ways. When I knew I was about to panic about some irrational fear, I used to change the scenario in my head to one that was OTT and extremely silly. For example, if I was afraid of being told off for something then I would imagine that person shouting at me in a Donald Duck voice. If you can laugh at your fears and make them as silly as possible then the thoughts stop being quite so real and you can move on from them.

During a panic attack, it also helps to actually listen to your thoughts. If you're panicking then stop fighting the thought and acknowledge that your body is having a panic attack. Don't try to push the thoughts away. The harder you try not to think about it, the more your brain will want to think about it.

For example, I'm going to tell you right now that you absolutely must not think about a hippo wearing a pink tutu.

So, what's the first thing your brain pictured just then? Probably a hippo wearing a pink tutu. That's because telling your brain it cannot do something automatically makes it fixate even more. You have to be a bit sneaky and allow yourself to think about the problem. That doesn't mean sinking into the problem, of course. You're simply hearing your brain's complaint and then letting it go. You've listened to yourself and now you have no reason to hold onto that thought anymore. You can release it.

Something which I've found helpful is mentally asking, 'What are you trying to tell me, body?' By listening to yourself, you acknowledge the thought and can let go. You give yourself the power to remove the fear.


4) Ground yourself:

Grip hold of the objects around you at the time. Notice how your feet feel when they're touching the carpeted floor, concentrate on how heavy your palms are when they're resting on the tops of your jeans, and live in the moment. Be mindful of everything around you and you will slowly be able to pull yourself out of the panic attack.

Tip: Try this technique whenever your mind starts to drift. In time, your thoughts will focus on the now, rather than fearing what could happen in the future. 

4) Meditation:

I know meditation isn't for everyone but there's no doubt that it can have a calming effect on the brain. However, if youlike mestruggle to empty your thoughts then I recommend listening to music to help. I was most prone to panic attacks before bed, as my brain had more time to fixate on worries at that point, so I tend to put on some light relaxing music before attempting sleep.



In particular, I find Louise Hay's subliminal messaging CDs particularly helpful. Not only is the music highly relaxing, but her subliminal messages can also fix any issues with self-esteem or anxiety.

For more information on Louise Hay, check out her website.

Sunday, 28 December 2014

A Life of Regret or the Risk of a Sting?

Lately, I've been trying to follow my own advice and actively seek out my dreams. Dreams cannot be made into a reality if we only daydream about them every day, after all. To get anywhere, sometimes we need to be brave and take a leap of faith.




The problem, of course, comes when you take that leap of faith and everything falls apart. At the risk of being humiliated, I think it's fair to say that I've taken a few bold steps and done my absolute best these last few months to achieve my dreams. The issue still remains though and I feel further away from this dream than ever before―and more humiliated, too. Putting all of your cards on the table is a risky little thing to do and there is a part of me already regretting it. A wise person told me yesterday that they would do anything to make their dreams become a reality. They were quite right and you should follow your dreams...but I guess you should know when to stop, too.

At least I can honestly say I've done everything in my power now. It seems cruel that one can work so hard at achieving something and gain no ground at all. If a compromise or glimmer of hope could be given, it would be enough. Except that's not the way the world works―and that's okay. I've still done my best and I can hold my head up high. I didn't give in or give up; I kept trying to make things work. Maybe, in the end, I've been stronger than I ever dreamed.

I know I can be happy, no matter what happens, but building confidence in hope again is a tricky little project when everything seems to be driving in the opposite way. Thankfully, I'm scrappy enough to keep charging on even when the going gets tough. I'm not going to be afraid of stings, not when the only other option is to look back later in life and wonder if I could have done more. See, pain is temporary...but regret gnaws away at you if you let it.

The Christmas magic is still in the air. Perhaps things didn't quite work out for me on this particular occasion but there's still hope for you guys. Make it happen and be proactive. Actively seek out the future you want and make it happen. If other people in the world are finding happiness then there's no reason why you shouldn't be either. Live in hope and actively achieve your dreams.

It's your dream. Only you can make it a reality. Let go of any fear and expect the best for yourself.

Saturday, 27 December 2014

Top 10 Inspirational Quotes

These are just some of the quotes that have helped to pick me up in the past when I've been flagging. I hope they inspire you just as much.




1. "I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all of the time."
―Anna Freud


2.  "In any project the important factor is your belief. Without belief, there can be no successful outcome."
William James


3. "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
 Gandhi




4. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover."
Mark Twain 


5. "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any."
 Alice Walker 


6. "In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure."
  Bill Cosby 




7. "So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings."
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit


8. "It is never too late to be what you might have been."
 George Eliot 


9. "Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly."
Langston Hughes




10.  "The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty -- it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There's a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God."
Mother Teresa