Five Tips for Sleeping Better at Night

As someone who tends to get insomnia easily, I've tried a range of different exercises and methods to help my brain relax enough to allow me sleep. When I was younger, I can remember my father telling me to "count sheep" before bed until I dozed off, but, unfortunately, this really didn't do anything except remind me that I can count well! As I've grown older, however, I have stumbled across many methods which supposedly aid sleep—some of which seem to work.

For anyone who is struggling, I have compiled a list of tips to combat that dreaded insomnia. I hope they work for you guys as they've definitely been helpful in regulating my sleep patterns.

1) Pick a set bedtime and keep to it:

Ideally, getting to sleep before 10pm is the most beneficial for your body. Studies have shown that the best time for your body to get optimum rest (and heal itself) are those crucial couple of hours before midnight. Our brains thrive on routine and a set bedtime will mean that your brain will start to differentiate between when it should be relaxing...and when it should be thinking! At first, it might be tricky to break the habit that your brain has developed, in terms of not sleeping, but please do not be tempted to get up if you can't sleep. Stay in bed and keep your eyes closed. If you do this for a couple of weeks then your brain will start to recognise when it should be sleeping and establish a new routine.

2) Increase your magnesium and calcium intake:

Often, sleep deprivation is caused by calcium and magnesium levels getting too low. If you want to ensure a restful night's sleep, either take foods that are rich in magnesium (like dark leafy greens, pine nuts, sesame seeds, fish etc) and calcium (like cheese, milk, yoghurt etc) or pick up some tablets from your local health food store.

3) Breathing exercises:

A really handy exercise for relaxing your body enough to sleep is to breathe in for six seconds, hold for three, and then release for seven seconds. Keep doing this until your mind quietens and you get into a nice relaxed sleep.

4) Turn off all laptops, phones, consoles etc at least an hour or so before bed:

Bright artificial lights, in general, are well-known to decrease sleep quality and duration. If you want to ensure that you get a restful sleep, you need to turn off all of these screens an hour before bed—and keep them away! (Do not be tempted to reach for that mobile!)

5) Keep your bedroom tidy:

An untidy bedroom often equals an untidy mind. Your thoughts are far more likely to be calmer and more collected in a tidy environment, rather than in a messy room. Eliminate clutter physically and you're subconsciously telling your brain to eliminate clutter from your life internally, too—and often that will have a powerful effect in helping you to feel more peaceful.

Extra tips:

As a general rule, lay off heavy meals or sugary snacks/drinks before bedtime, too. If too much sugar or carbs are in your bloodstream, you body will end up with an excess of unused energy and struggle to relax. As a general rule, a nice glass of milk and honey before bed can do wonders.

Recently, I've also discovered that if I eat a banana in the day then I sleep much better, too. The banana regulates the blood sugar levels and stops them from spiking in the evening, which gives me a much better chance of getting some sleep!

Hope this helps. If you have any added tips, please feel free to leave them in the comments below!

F x

Picking up the Pen: A Little Slice of Honesty

Sometimes I look around at the world and I wonder if everyone would find life much simpler if they just said exactly how they felt or spoke out honestly. Would more arguments be avoided or would more be created? I can't help but think that the world would be a better place if people just spoke their mind—because most of the time it is possible to speak honestly whilst still being kind.

Maybe if we were truthful always then there would be less of a need to involve third parties, too, because we would have said our piece straight away and could then move on. For the last few weeks, I've tried on repeated occasions to be honest about feelings but I've repeatedly made the rookie mistake of trying to designate a convenient time to do it. Essentially, I think I've been too well-mannered and timid about saying anything straight up, just in case I accidentally offend. After all, no matter how well-meaning you are, there is—of course—always the chance that the person you're speaking to is not going to respond positively to what is being said.

My main concern is always that I don’t want to hurt someone or cause them discomfort. Lately, I've been beating myself up over past situations where I've meant well—and had good intentions—but have unwittingly caused other people pain. Ironically, perhaps, from being too honest about things which would have better been left unsaid.

As a general rule of thumb, if something is troubling you personally then it's best to get it off your chest. If you sit and wallow on the thoughts then the feelings just grow and cause you more trouble. Everyone is different but I think a straight up approach saves pain and reduces the chance of things becoming rocky at a later date. Over the last week, I have been realising increasingly that every moment is precious―and I'd much rather spend my time being open, living in the moment, rather than wallowing or brooding over issues. I can't say that this is the best approach to life for everyone but it's certainly one that seems to work best for me.

Stay true to yourself and stand up for what you believe to be right in your heart. If you're doing that, you can always hold your head up high―whatever the outcome.

 
“If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

F x

An Overdue Update: How Do You Achieve What You Want In Life?

It's been a long time since I've written and I'm going to keep this relatively short. A lot has been going on in my life recently and I've been working very hard on my fiction writing! The novel I've been writing is nearing completion and I'm feeling more than a little excited about the fact that my characters are coming alive on the page—and are finally getting their stories told. Sometimes it's really nice to escape into that fantasy world and delve into scenarios that you almost wish you could see happen in real life.

The fact that I'm almost finished with this novel has led me to re-evaluate the things I would like to receive in life, though. For the most part, I can honestly say that I've achieved a lot of dreams which I wished for—and life is falling into place pretty perfectly. There's still a couple of aspects which I'd like to achieve and a few projects which I'd like to complete though—and it's made me think a lot about people's success stories.

I'm a curious cat and I'd like to know what you do to achieve the things you want in life? How do you go about reaching your goals? What kind of mindset do you have? I've found recently that the things I want often seem to come to me when I've let go of the situation completely and have stopped despairing over how everything can be achieved. Is positivity the key to your success or do you set yourself small tasks and work your way up to receiving your big goal? What is the secret to any dreams you've achieved over the last few years? You don't have to share your success stories with me but take a moment to consider them. Perhaps there's a pattern which might be the key towards unlocking your future desires.

Whatever you do, have faith and stay positive. You can achieve everything and anything in the world if you put your mind to it—and I have absolute faith that one day your dreams will manifest in a way which is even more wonderful than you first imagined.

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”
~Napoleon Hill

Have a wonderful day. x

5 Tips on How to be Happy

My last two blog posts have focused on ways to alleviate anxiety and build self-esteem. Today, I'm going to give you some tips on ways to achieve happiness. First of all, I need you to understand that—although I will do my best to help—the work must come from you. Only you have the power to make yourself happy and realising that is actually one of the first steps towards achieving lasting happiness.

You see, you doom yourself the moment you rely on other people as your source of happiness. You need to be able to create your own happiness, rather than relying on set events or people. Likewise, you can't depend on future events to make you happy. If you're always looking forwards in hope then you aren't living in the moment and you aren't acknowledging the good you already have in your life.

This may be hard for you at first but you need to release all ideas of the future holding all your happiness. You will be happy in the future—however, if you follow these tips, you can also be happy whilst living in the now.


1) Understand that you are in control of your life and your destiny:

Often, we despair and believe that we are trapped by circumstances. This is not the case. You are in control of your own life and you have the power to change anything that makes you feel unhappy. If you believe that you have no control and if you feel like the victim in a chain of circumstances, you trap yourself into being the victim. Everything we do—even choosing to do nothing—is a choice. If someone does something which upsets us but we don't say anything, we've made that choice not to say anything.

It is your life and you always have control of it in some way.


2) Change your thinking:

Often, we spend a lot of time wishing that things were different. We might find ourselves longing for change or spend a lot of time missing a certain someone. For example, if you've gone through a tough break-up then you might be longing for your ex or desperately wishing for someone to love you again. This is not healthy as it just creates a negative thought process which tells your brain that you are lacking something and that you don't have that. The more you wish you had something, the more you're creating a scenario where you don't have that something. Thoughts are things. Someone who is forever saying that their life never goes right will create a life that never goes right. We attract what we think into our lives.

The good news is that we can change these thoughts. You have access to everything you could ever want but you just need to tap into it.

To do that, you need to start changing the way you phrase things. Do the words 'I don't have' or 'I never' tend to cycle around your thoughts or spill out of your mouth on a daily basis? Do you feel desperate and constantly say to yourself, 'I need this' or 'I want that'? It's important that you catch yourself whenever you start to feel like this. You can access everything you could ever want—but to do that you have to release all feelings of desperation and need. You need to be at peace with who you are now so that all the good things can start coming into your life. When you release the negative, you create a pathway so that the good things can start to come into your life. The faster you release, the faster you manifest positive things into your world.

Think of it like this: Pretend for a moment that negative thoughts are like the night sky. You've gotten a little lost and you're trying to find your way along to get to where you want. However, you're stumbling around in the dark and you can't seem to find a road. The more you panic about getting onto the road you want to take, the darker the sky seems to get. Eventually, you can't see to do anything through that pitch-black night sky and none of the things you'd like seem to come your way. However, by shifting your thoughts to a more positive level consistently, you're effectively handing yourself a torch and allowing shafts of light to illuminate the way again so that you can find the path you want to tread.

Using the present tense, switch your thoughts around to 'I have' or 'I am filled with' etc. because then you're stating that you already have the things you want in your life. In this way, you are telling your brain that everything is okay and you are clearing away any barriers which might have blocked you in the past from having those things in your life. This will help you manifest the good things you do want much faster and your brain will stop thinking that it has been lacking something.

3) Positive Affirmations:

I mentioned this when I spoke in an earlier blog about improving self-esteem. If your happiness has been blocked because you don't feel confident enough then telling yourself positive statements each day will work wonders.

For more details on positive affirmations, check out my previous blog post here.

 
4) Find at least one thing to feel happy or grateful about each day:

Find something in your life that makes you feel grateful and write it down. This could be anything from a friend making you laugh to the sun shining whilst you're out shopping. However simple the thing you're grateful for might be, just write it down. Writing down the things we're grateful for helps to remind us of the positive points in our life and will make us feel better about how we're living.

For Christmas, a friend bought me a 'Happy Box' so that I could jot down one thing every day which made me feel grateful. The 'Happy Box' works sort of like a piggy bank: Every day, you drop into the box a 'happy' note containing something which has made you feel grateful. In later months, if you need a boost, you can crack the box open and look back over all the things which have made you happy. It's a great idea which I've been trying to use daily.

 

5) Catch yourself whenever 'Mr. Doubt' or 'Mrs. Fear' shows up in your brain:

However hard you try, there will be points when you find yourself plagued by fears or doubts. This might come in the form of a doubt niggling at the back of your brain—or a clenching of fear in your gut—which tells you that you can't achieve something for whatever reason. Simply allow those thoughts to enter your brain, acknowledge that you've had them, and then release them. In this way, you accept each thought but you don't give them power. Slowly, those doubts or fears will start to fade over time and you'll feel much happier as a result.

3 Tips for Improving Self-Esteem

Only you can improve your self-esteem but―by following these tips―hopefully that will become easier for you with each new day.
 

1. Write down and say positive affirmations daily:

Often, if situations are particularly stressful, we can get into a rut of negative thinking. Thoughts rattle around in our brains on a demon circuit and seem to get trapped there. Once a negative thought pops into our brain, we tend to fixate on it and find it hard to let go.

Using positive affirmations daily can help change this pattern so that you feel better about yourself. Instead of saying 'I can't do this because...' change your thoughts to 'I can do this!' If you believe something can happen, you open yourself up to being able to make it happen. Similarly, if you believe something is impossible then you can doom yourself to never getting what you want. Shake away any mental blocks you've created and believe.

As Audrey Hepburn rather famously said, 'Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible!' '

Write down a list of positive things to say about yourself each day. Remember to use the present tense for all of your affirmations and choose your words carefully. Avoid words which hold negative connotations and make sure your affirmations are positive statements. To work properly, your affirmations need to be read out like facts. This will help you believe them more.

As a starting point, I found some of the following affirmations helpful:

I am successful and motivated
I achieve my dreams
I am worthy of love
I welcome happiness into my life
I choose to be happy
I make the right choices for myself
I trust myself
I forgive myself for any past mistakes and let go of anything that might keep me from achieving my dreams.
New opportunities and possibilities come to me easily

As a tip, if you feel a pleasant warm sensation when you say the words then they're right for you. If you feel a clenching in your gut then keep working on the phrasing until the words feel better. You want to feel good when you read your affirmations so that your brain will associate those words with feelings with happiness.

Once you have your list, spend a few minutes every morning and evening saying your affirmations. Believe in the words and your own self-worth. You have the power to make yourself happy. Everything you need is within your grasp.


2. Trust and believe in yourself:

Ever wondered why some people seem to be so successful whilst others struggle? Part of the reason why is often their attitude. They believe they can get something and so they receive it. It's called the Law of Attraction and I'll go into that in a bit more detail in a later article. Basically, believe that you deserve the very best and good things will come to you.

3. Don't compare yourself to other people:

If you constantly compare yourself to other people, you will never be happy. You are a person in own your own right and you are the perfect form of yourself. Be content with who you are and don't feel insecure. The fact is that the people around you probably love you and want to be with you for who you are already.


Bonus Tip:

4. Smile at yourself in front of the mirror daily:

This may sound strange but if you spend a few minutes each day smiling at yourself in front of the mirror then you will start to feel happier in general. It's a mistake to think we only smile when feel happy. Often enough, we can feel happy because we're smiling.

For people with a low body image, standing in front of a mirror and smiling can make all the difference. By smiling at your reflection, you're telling your brain that you are happy with the way you look―and this will help you to increase your confidence.

A Life of Regret or the Risk of a Sting?

Lately, I've been trying to follow my own advice and actively seek out my dreams. Dreams cannot be made into a reality if we only daydream about them every day, after all. To get anywhere, sometimes we need to be brave and take a leap of faith.

The problem, of course, comes when you take that leap of faith and everything falls apart. At the risk of being humiliated, I think it's fair to say that I've taken a few bold steps and done my absolute best these last few months to achieve my dreams. The issue still remains though and I feel further away from this dream than ever before―and more humiliated, too. Putting all of your cards on the table is a risky little thing to do and there is a part of me already regretting it. A wise person told me yesterday that they would do anything to make their dreams become a reality. They were quite right and you should follow your dreams...but I guess you should know when to stop, too.

At least I can honestly say I've done everything in my power now. It seems cruel that one can work so hard at achieving something and gain no ground at all. If a compromise or glimmer of hope could be given, it would be enough. Except that's not the way the world works―and that's okay. I've still done my best and I can hold my head up high. I didn't give in or give up; I kept trying to make things work. Maybe, in the end, I've been stronger than I ever dreamed.

I know I can be happy, no matter what happens, but building confidence in hope again is a tricky little project when everything seems to be driving in the opposite way. Thankfully, I'm scrappy enough to keep charging on even when the going gets tough. I'm not going to be afraid of stings, not when the only other option is to look back later in life and wonder if I could have done more. See, pain is temporary...but regret gnaws away at you if you let it.

The Christmas magic is still in the air. Perhaps things didn't quite work out for me on this particular occasion but there's still hope for you guys. Make it happen and be proactive. Actively seek out the future you want and make it happen. If other people in the world are finding happiness then there's no reason why you shouldn't be either. Live in hope and actively achieve your dreams.

It's your dream. Only you can make it a reality. Let go of any fear and expect the best for yourself.