Happy January: Introducing the Standard Blog of Goals for 2016...

Sorry for the delay in posting, my workload has been quite intense recently and I'm afraid I've not had many opportunities to put pen to paper! With the start of a fresh year, I have, however, come up with a list of all the things which I want to accomplish by the end of 2016! I've been fairly gentle with myself—setting relatively obtainable goals—so that I know that some items will be ticked off by the end of the year!

By the end of the year, I want to:

• Visit somewhere new
• Go to a Supernatural convention (preferably with Em)
• Finish my novel
• Finish editing my last NaNoWriMo novel
• Increase my cookery skills (particularly with savoury food) 
• Try out Laserquest
• Read at least one new book per month (I love reading so this will help me to do more of the things I enjoy)
• Watch one new film and one TV series per month.
• Double gaming score on the Xbox. 

I know that a couple of the items on this list might be quite hard to accomplish but I feel quite confident that I'll manage some of them. The book I have picked for this month is Maze Runner by James Dashner and it is a cracker! I've raced through the whole series and loved every single moment, even if The Death Cure (which is the final book in the trilogy) did make me cry!

I chose Crimson Peak as my film for the month. I have to say that I was a little disappointed after watching this film, possibly because I'd expected more of a chilling story centred around ghosts and hauntings. In any case, I thought the CGI in Crimson Peak was quite poor, giving the ghosts an almost laughable cartoon quality. Although the premise of the film was actually quite good, reminding me vividly at times of the fairytale "Bluebeard" (but with some added creepy twists), the film let itself down by placing most of its emphasis on needless gore, rather than on building tension and fear. I'm not sure I'd watch the film again; however, I have learnt that I should probably read the blurbs on films before watching them!

An Overdue Update: How Do You Achieve What You Want In Life?

It's been a long time since I've written and I'm going to keep this relatively short. A lot has been going on in my life recently and I've been working very hard on my fiction writing! The novel I've been writing is nearing completion and I'm feeling more than a little excited about the fact that my characters are coming alive on the page—and are finally getting their stories told. Sometimes it's really nice to escape into that fantasy world and delve into scenarios that you almost wish you could see happen in real life.

The fact that I'm almost finished with this novel has led me to re-evaluate the things I would like to receive in life, though. For the most part, I can honestly say that I've achieved a lot of dreams which I wished for—and life is falling into place pretty perfectly. There's still a couple of aspects which I'd like to achieve and a few projects which I'd like to complete though—and it's made me think a lot about people's success stories.

I'm a curious cat and I'd like to know what you do to achieve the things you want in life? How do you go about reaching your goals? What kind of mindset do you have? I've found recently that the things I want often seem to come to me when I've let go of the situation completely and have stopped despairing over how everything can be achieved. Is positivity the key to your success or do you set yourself small tasks and work your way up to receiving your big goal? What is the secret to any dreams you've achieved over the last few years? You don't have to share your success stories with me but take a moment to consider them. Perhaps there's a pattern which might be the key towards unlocking your future desires.

Whatever you do, have faith and stay positive. You can achieve everything and anything in the world if you put your mind to it—and I have absolute faith that one day your dreams will manifest in a way which is even more wonderful than you first imagined.

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”
~Napoleon Hill

Have a wonderful day. x

5 Tips on How to be Happy

My last two blog posts have focused on ways to alleviate anxiety and build self-esteem. Today, I'm going to give you some tips on ways to achieve happiness. First of all, I need you to understand that—although I will do my best to help—the work must come from you. Only you have the power to make yourself happy and realising that is actually one of the first steps towards achieving lasting happiness.

You see, you doom yourself the moment you rely on other people as your source of happiness. You need to be able to create your own happiness, rather than relying on set events or people. Likewise, you can't depend on future events to make you happy. If you're always looking forwards in hope then you aren't living in the moment and you aren't acknowledging the good you already have in your life.

This may be hard for you at first but you need to release all ideas of the future holding all your happiness. You will be happy in the future—however, if you follow these tips, you can also be happy whilst living in the now.


1) Understand that you are in control of your life and your destiny:

Often, we despair and believe that we are trapped by circumstances. This is not the case. You are in control of your own life and you have the power to change anything that makes you feel unhappy. If you believe that you have no control and if you feel like the victim in a chain of circumstances, you trap yourself into being the victim. Everything we do—even choosing to do nothing—is a choice. If someone does something which upsets us but we don't say anything, we've made that choice not to say anything.

It is your life and you always have control of it in some way.


2) Change your thinking:

Often, we spend a lot of time wishing that things were different. We might find ourselves longing for change or spend a lot of time missing a certain someone. For example, if you've gone through a tough break-up then you might be longing for your ex or desperately wishing for someone to love you again. This is not healthy as it just creates a negative thought process which tells your brain that you are lacking something and that you don't have that. The more you wish you had something, the more you're creating a scenario where you don't have that something. Thoughts are things. Someone who is forever saying that their life never goes right will create a life that never goes right. We attract what we think into our lives.

The good news is that we can change these thoughts. You have access to everything you could ever want but you just need to tap into it.

To do that, you need to start changing the way you phrase things. Do the words 'I don't have' or 'I never' tend to cycle around your thoughts or spill out of your mouth on a daily basis? Do you feel desperate and constantly say to yourself, 'I need this' or 'I want that'? It's important that you catch yourself whenever you start to feel like this. You can access everything you could ever want—but to do that you have to release all feelings of desperation and need. You need to be at peace with who you are now so that all the good things can start coming into your life. When you release the negative, you create a pathway so that the good things can start to come into your life. The faster you release, the faster you manifest positive things into your world.

Think of it like this: Pretend for a moment that negative thoughts are like the night sky. You've gotten a little lost and you're trying to find your way along to get to where you want. However, you're stumbling around in the dark and you can't seem to find a road. The more you panic about getting onto the road you want to take, the darker the sky seems to get. Eventually, you can't see to do anything through that pitch-black night sky and none of the things you'd like seem to come your way. However, by shifting your thoughts to a more positive level consistently, you're effectively handing yourself a torch and allowing shafts of light to illuminate the way again so that you can find the path you want to tread.

Using the present tense, switch your thoughts around to 'I have' or 'I am filled with' etc. because then you're stating that you already have the things you want in your life. In this way, you are telling your brain that everything is okay and you are clearing away any barriers which might have blocked you in the past from having those things in your life. This will help you manifest the good things you do want much faster and your brain will stop thinking that it has been lacking something.

3) Positive Affirmations:

I mentioned this when I spoke in an earlier blog about improving self-esteem. If your happiness has been blocked because you don't feel confident enough then telling yourself positive statements each day will work wonders.

For more details on positive affirmations, check out my previous blog post here.

 
4) Find at least one thing to feel happy or grateful about each day:

Find something in your life that makes you feel grateful and write it down. This could be anything from a friend making you laugh to the sun shining whilst you're out shopping. However simple the thing you're grateful for might be, just write it down. Writing down the things we're grateful for helps to remind us of the positive points in our life and will make us feel better about how we're living.

For Christmas, a friend bought me a 'Happy Box' so that I could jot down one thing every day which made me feel grateful. The 'Happy Box' works sort of like a piggy bank: Every day, you drop into the box a 'happy' note containing something which has made you feel grateful. In later months, if you need a boost, you can crack the box open and look back over all the things which have made you happy. It's a great idea which I've been trying to use daily.

 

5) Catch yourself whenever 'Mr. Doubt' or 'Mrs. Fear' shows up in your brain:

However hard you try, there will be points when you find yourself plagued by fears or doubts. This might come in the form of a doubt niggling at the back of your brain—or a clenching of fear in your gut—which tells you that you can't achieve something for whatever reason. Simply allow those thoughts to enter your brain, acknowledge that you've had them, and then release them. In this way, you accept each thought but you don't give them power. Slowly, those doubts or fears will start to fade over time and you'll feel much happier as a result.

3 Tips for Improving Self-Esteem

Only you can improve your self-esteem but―by following these tips―hopefully that will become easier for you with each new day.
 

1. Write down and say positive affirmations daily:

Often, if situations are particularly stressful, we can get into a rut of negative thinking. Thoughts rattle around in our brains on a demon circuit and seem to get trapped there. Once a negative thought pops into our brain, we tend to fixate on it and find it hard to let go.

Using positive affirmations daily can help change this pattern so that you feel better about yourself. Instead of saying 'I can't do this because...' change your thoughts to 'I can do this!' If you believe something can happen, you open yourself up to being able to make it happen. Similarly, if you believe something is impossible then you can doom yourself to never getting what you want. Shake away any mental blocks you've created and believe.

As Audrey Hepburn rather famously said, 'Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible!' '

Write down a list of positive things to say about yourself each day. Remember to use the present tense for all of your affirmations and choose your words carefully. Avoid words which hold negative connotations and make sure your affirmations are positive statements. To work properly, your affirmations need to be read out like facts. This will help you believe them more.

As a starting point, I found some of the following affirmations helpful:

I am successful and motivated
I achieve my dreams
I am worthy of love
I welcome happiness into my life
I choose to be happy
I make the right choices for myself
I trust myself
I forgive myself for any past mistakes and let go of anything that might keep me from achieving my dreams.
New opportunities and possibilities come to me easily

As a tip, if you feel a pleasant warm sensation when you say the words then they're right for you. If you feel a clenching in your gut then keep working on the phrasing until the words feel better. You want to feel good when you read your affirmations so that your brain will associate those words with feelings with happiness.

Once you have your list, spend a few minutes every morning and evening saying your affirmations. Believe in the words and your own self-worth. You have the power to make yourself happy. Everything you need is within your grasp.


2. Trust and believe in yourself:

Ever wondered why some people seem to be so successful whilst others struggle? Part of the reason why is often their attitude. They believe they can get something and so they receive it. It's called the Law of Attraction and I'll go into that in a bit more detail in a later article. Basically, believe that you deserve the very best and good things will come to you.

3. Don't compare yourself to other people:

If you constantly compare yourself to other people, you will never be happy. You are a person in own your own right and you are the perfect form of yourself. Be content with who you are and don't feel insecure. The fact is that the people around you probably love you and want to be with you for who you are already.


Bonus Tip:

4. Smile at yourself in front of the mirror daily:

This may sound strange but if you spend a few minutes each day smiling at yourself in front of the mirror then you will start to feel happier in general. It's a mistake to think we only smile when feel happy. Often enough, we can feel happy because we're smiling.

For people with a low body image, standing in front of a mirror and smiling can make all the difference. By smiling at your reflection, you're telling your brain that you are happy with the way you look―and this will help you to increase your confidence.

Christmas Magic

Christmas Day is almost upon us. As I write this post to you, the presents have already been stacked under the tree and the last of the pre-Christmas preparations finished. There's something a little bit magical in the air around Christmas Eve and I can't quite shake the feeling that something good is coming my way. Earlier misgivings are fading and giving way to a renewed feeling of hope and love.

 

I choose to believe in the magic of wishes. With the fire place aglow and a plate full of steaming hot mince pies awaiting me, I'm going to take a few minutes to make a wish on whatever Christmassy star is shining outside. The true magic of Christmas is in the spirit of believing; if you believe in miracles then anything can happen.

Last Christmas, I got one of the biggest miracles I'd ever asked for by being positive and believing. Perhaps you'll be lucky enough to get your wish this year if you do the same. It might not always come in the way you expect but things have a way of working out.

That being said, sometimes you've also got to know when to stop chasing a dream. If you're persistently being blocked then maybe there's a reason for that. If your dream involves someone else then remember that you cannot be the only person to put in all of the effort. Sometimes a little help has to come from the other person—and if they can't do that, or aren't even willing to try, then move on and find yourself a new dream. You are worth more. You might not believe it... but you are. If one dream isn't working out for you then build yourself a better one.

Believe in the magic, make a wish, dare to dream...and have a wonderful Christmas.