Sometimes I look around at the world and I wonder if everyone would find
life much simpler if they just said exactly how they felt or spoke out
honestly. Would more arguments be avoided or would more be created? I can't
help but think that the world would be a better place if people just spoke
their mind—because most of the time it is possible to speak honestly whilst
still being kind.
Maybe if we were truthful always then there would be less of a need to
involve third parties, too, because we would have said our piece straight away
and could then move on. For the last few weeks, I've tried on repeated occasions
to be honest about feelings but I've repeatedly made the rookie mistake of
trying to designate a convenient time to do it. Essentially, I think I've been
too well-mannered and timid about saying anything straight up, just in case I
accidentally offend. After all, no matter how well-meaning you are, there is—of
course—always the chance that the person you're speaking to is not going to
respond positively to what is being said.
My main concern is always that I don’t want to hurt someone or cause them
discomfort. Lately, I've been beating myself up over past situations where I've
meant well—and had good intentions—but have unwittingly caused other people
pain. Ironically, perhaps, from being too honest about things which would have
better been left unsaid.
As a general rule of thumb, if something is troubling you
personally then it's best to get it off your chest. If you sit and wallow on the
thoughts then the feelings just grow and cause you more trouble. Everyone is
different but I think a straight up approach saves pain and reduces the chance of
things becoming rocky at a later date. Over the last week, I have been realising increasingly that every moment is precious―and I'd much rather spend my time being
open, living in the moment, rather than wallowing or brooding over issues. I can't say
that this is the best approach to life for everyone but it's certainly one that
seems to work best for me.
Stay true to yourself and stand up for what you believe to be right in your heart. If you're doing that, you can always hold your head up high―whatever the outcome.
“If the person you are talking to
doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a
small piece of fluff in his ear.”
― A.A. Milne,
Winnie-the-Pooh
F x
A blog about writing, shopping, teaching, shows, theatre, love, romance, dreams, positivity and just about everything else!
Friday, 17 July 2015
Sunday, 10 May 2015
An Overdue Update: How Do You Achieve What You Want In Life?
It's been a long time since I've written and I'm going to keep this relatively short. A lot has been going on in my life recently and I've been working very hard on my fiction writing! The novel I've been writing is nearing completion and I'm feeling more than a little excited about the fact that my characters are coming alive on the page—and are finally getting their stories told. Sometimes it's really nice to escape into that fantasy world and delve into scenarios that you almost wish you could see happen in real life.
The fact that I'm almost finished with this novel has led me to re-evaluate the things I would like to receive in life, though. For the most part, I can honestly say that I've achieved a lot of dreams which I wished for—and life is falling into place pretty perfectly. There's still a couple of aspects which I'd like to achieve and a few projects which I'd like to complete though—and it's made me think a lot about people's success stories.
I'm a curious cat and I'd like to know what you do to achieve the things you want in life? How do you go about reaching your goals? What kind of mindset do you have? I've found recently that the things I want often seem to come to me when I've let go of the situation completely and have stopped despairing over how everything can be achieved. Is positivity the key to your success or do you set yourself small tasks and work your way up to receiving your big goal? What is the secret to any dreams you've achieved over the last few years? You don't have to share your success stories with me but take a moment to consider them. Perhaps there's a pattern which might be the key towards unlocking your future desires.
Whatever you do, have faith and stay positive. You can achieve everything and anything in the world if you put your mind to it—and I have absolute faith that one day your dreams will manifest in a way which is even more wonderful than you first imagined.
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”
~Napoleon Hill
Have a wonderful day. x
The fact that I'm almost finished with this novel has led me to re-evaluate the things I would like to receive in life, though. For the most part, I can honestly say that I've achieved a lot of dreams which I wished for—and life is falling into place pretty perfectly. There's still a couple of aspects which I'd like to achieve and a few projects which I'd like to complete though—and it's made me think a lot about people's success stories.
I'm a curious cat and I'd like to know what you do to achieve the things you want in life? How do you go about reaching your goals? What kind of mindset do you have? I've found recently that the things I want often seem to come to me when I've let go of the situation completely and have stopped despairing over how everything can be achieved. Is positivity the key to your success or do you set yourself small tasks and work your way up to receiving your big goal? What is the secret to any dreams you've achieved over the last few years? You don't have to share your success stories with me but take a moment to consider them. Perhaps there's a pattern which might be the key towards unlocking your future desires.
Whatever you do, have faith and stay positive. You can achieve everything and anything in the world if you put your mind to it—and I have absolute faith that one day your dreams will manifest in a way which is even more wonderful than you first imagined.
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”
~Napoleon Hill
Have a wonderful day. x
Friday, 27 March 2015
Turning the Tables: A Stage Review
Last Saturday, I had the pleasure of attending Origins Theatre
Company’s production of Turning The Tables.
In a one night only sell-out show, six fifteen-minute plays were performed to
an eager audience inside The Sail Loft of the Bargeman’s Rest pub in Newport.
The plays performed showcased the top six winning and highly commended entries of Origins Theatre Company’s “From Page to Stage” play-writing competition—and the quality of writing was clearly very high.
The audience were treated to a unique format and setting, which saw the action taking place down a central aisle in a ‘traverse theatre’ layout.
The audience were also joined by several of the writers behind
the mastermind plays, who watched their work come alive onstage for the very
first time.
Deliciously dark and devilishly funny, Turning The Tables contained all the traditional elements of a black comedy
play—but with a plethora of brilliant plot twists and turns added along the
way.
Paul Gwinnett and Robbie Gwinnett offered up a great performance as father and son in the first play, Gunpoint. The play began with a dishevelled Roy (played by Paul Gwinnett) pelting down the aisle to escape his gun-wielding son (Robbie Gwinnett), who decided that his father should pay the ultimate price for walking out on the family. In a hilarious twist, the father decided to ask for a do-over of his death scene so that he could avoid dying to clichéd phrases.
The second play of the evening, Sway, opened with Milo (Reuben Loake) attempting to hang himself whilst on-off girlfriend, Greta (played by Eleanor Jane Spicer), antagonised and mocked him. Whilst Kitty (Emilly Scott-Denness) stormed onto stage, begging the duo to stop their games, Greta’s taunts took a darker turn as she tried to convince Milo to commit suicide and become a “legend”.
Eleanor Jane Spicer shone out, providing a fantastic portrayal of
the bitter and goading Greta. Reuben, as Milo, was equally excellent when he snapped
and “turned the tables” on Greta in a deadly finale. The play was gripping from
start-to-finish, with a rollercoaster of emotions impressively
displayed by all three actors.
A personal highlight was the third play, Home Truths,
which focused upon a nervous son (Robbie Gwinnett) attempting to “come out” to
his parents. Maureen Sullivan was
excellent as the gossipy and loquacious Moira, who repeatedly foiled her son’s attempts
to share his news. In an amusing final
scene, when the truth was finally revealed, the father (Paul Gwinnett) divulged
that he had a few skeletons—or dresses—of his own in his closet.
Kevin Wilson and Amelia Havard were brilliant in A Valued Employee as the battle between employer and former employee began. Kevin Wilson presented a calm and stoical Mr. Trace, which was perfectly offset against the emotional whirlwind that was the unhinged Natalie (Amelia Havard). Alongside dramatic arguments and failed seductions, the audience enjoyed some light-hearted comedy as it was revealed that the Natalie’s prescribed medication was, in fact, a packet of Tic Tacs.
In Venus Retrograde, a love affair between two work
colleagues turned sour as true colours and feelings were exposed. Fiona
Gwinnett and Suzi Chilton, as Helen and Becky, gave convincing performances
whilst discussing Jake’s (played by Reuben Loake) betrayal and seduction of the
new girl at work. Likewise, the tension and sniping between smooth-talking Jake
and cruelly spurned Helen (Fiona Gwinnett) was fantastic. As the play progressed, it soon became clear
that revenge was a dish best served cold—in the form of a dodgy prawn sandwich.
The final play for the evening, Brushstrokes, was a delicious blend of drama, deception and manipulation—with the perfect sprinkling of comedy added for good measure. As the play opened, three art models (played by Robbie Gwinnett, Marie Hickman and Michael Mullin) delivered a series of passionate monologues which revealed how the painter, Benedict St. John, had manipulated pivotal moments in their lives. Referring to one another initially by the title of their paintings, the “Girl Sipping Tea”, “Boy Juggling Oranges” and “Boy in Trunks” each took turns describing their relationship with Benedict and the subsequent events leading up to his death.
In particular, Marie Hickman stood out as the stunning
model, Isabel (“Girl Sipping Tea”), who fell for the Lothario painter and
grieved over his death. Funny moments included manly poses from Michael Mullin
and some skilled orange juggling from Robbie Gwinnett.
All six plays, which were expertly directed by Eltjo De Vries
for Origins Theatre Company, were greeted with a warm reception by the
audience.
If you’d like to be kept up-to-date with Origins Theatre
Company’s latest plays and projects, head over to their Facebook page now.
Thursday, 19 March 2015
Funny and Happy Quotes to Raise a Smile
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and
you have their shoes.
―Frieda Norris
The conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
―Arthur Bloc
Why do people say "no offense" when they're about to offend someone?
―Author Unknown
I laugh at myself. I don't take myself completely seriously. I think that's another quality that people have to hold on to... you have to laugh, especially at yourself.
―Madonna
The best way to treat obstacles is to use them as stepping-stones. Laugh at them, tread on them, and let them lead you to something better.
―Enid Blyton, Mr Galliano's Circus
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
―Kurt Vonnegut
―Frieda Norris
The conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
―Arthur Bloc
Why do people say "no offense" when they're about to offend someone?
―Author Unknown
I laugh at myself. I don't take myself completely seriously. I think that's another quality that people have to hold on to... you have to laugh, especially at yourself.
―Madonna
The best way to treat obstacles is to use them as stepping-stones. Laugh at them, tread on them, and let them lead you to something better.
―Enid Blyton, Mr Galliano's Circus
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
―Kurt Vonnegut
Monday, 2 March 2015
How to Become Emotionally Independent in a Relationship - Part 2
Last
time, I started to explain how to become emotionally independent in a
relationship. I really want to help anyone struggling with this so today we're
going to go through a few simple exercises that will help keep you grounded in
the present time. By living in the moment, you should feel more relaxed and
less worried about what might happen in the future with your boyfriend or
girlfriend. Your thoughts will be absorbed in what is happening in the present
moment, rather than on concerns about what might happen in the future.
So, how
do you live in the "now" and stop worrying about the future?
I've
outlined a few techniques and exercises below which I hope will help teach you
mindfulness and distract you from worrying about what's going on in your
relationship.
1)
Connecting with the people and objects around you:
If the
weather is fine, take a few minutes out of your day to go for a walk outside.
Focus on what's around you, paying attention to any road signs you see and
making an effort to notice the tiny details e.g. the different types of flowers
in a hanging basket, the windows above a tatty shop building, the golden name
plate on a park bench etc. By doing this, your thoughts should quieten and you
should find it easier to enjoy living in the moment.
Whenever you feel that your thoughts are becoming chaotic with worries and concerns about your relationship, place your hands down on your thighs and focus on the weight of them. Notice how each finger feels against the fabric of your clothing and keep focusing on that until the thoughts quieten.
To help you further, have a quick look at the people around you when you're outside. Remind yourself that—just like you—those people have laughed, cried, smiled and known a lot of the emotions that you're experiencing. This will help connect you more with the people around you and take your mind off of your current worries.
Whenever you feel that your thoughts are becoming chaotic with worries and concerns about your relationship, place your hands down on your thighs and focus on the weight of them. Notice how each finger feels against the fabric of your clothing and keep focusing on that until the thoughts quieten.
To help you further, have a quick look at the people around you when you're outside. Remind yourself that—just like you—those people have laughed, cried, smiled and known a lot of the emotions that you're experiencing. This will help connect you more with the people around you and take your mind off of your current worries.
2)
Breathing techniques:
Meditation and breathing techniques are really helpful for easing worries. Whenever you start to panic or feel insecure, calm yourself with relaxing meditational music and good breathing techniques.
Breathing Technique: Hold your breath for the count of four seconds, inhale through the nose
for seven seconds, and then exhale through the mouth for eight seconds. Repeat
until you feel calmer.
3) Resist the urge to check in on your partner all of the time:
I know
it's hard when you care about someone and are itching to hear from them...but
try to stop yourself from texting your partner all the time for reassurance.
Even more than that, if you do send a text, do not follow that up with another
text if they fail to respond. Give them some space and do not chase. It can be
quite emotionally draining to receive text messages from partners who are
constantly seeking reassurance so try not to fall into that trap.
If you
think that you might struggle with this then have a "go to" group of
friends who you text whenever you feel yourself itching to message your significant
other. Your partner is much more likely to respond if you don't chasing him/her
for an answer.
4)
Believing in yourself
It's really important that you try to build up your own self-esteem. You have to believe that you are worthy of your partner. The fact is that he or she chose you for a variety of reasons. You have to trust them and have faith in your own self-worth. If you trust their decision and value yourself then everything else will fade away.
5) Make
time to do something you love or develop a new hobby:
A little
space in a relationship is healthy. You and your partner both need a few hours
where you can do something separate from each other—something you both love. It
also means that you both have more things to talk about when you come back together.
If there was a hobby that you enjoyed doing before you got with your partner
then I suggest taking that up again.
Above all else, remember that your partner is in love with you. Love isn’t about needing proof or evidence—often it’s about having the faith and courage to believe that your partner truly loves you. Trust that your significant other wants you.
Thursday, 12 February 2015
How to Become Emotionally Independent in a Relationship - Part 1
Alright, so Valentine's Day is coming up and I've decided to tackle
something a little bit delicate today. The fact is that it is very easy to
become overly reliant on a partner and depend upon them a little too much. You
enjoy their company, you love them a lot, and you want to spend every minute of
your time with them.
Great. What happens when you overdo it though? You might find that your partner is pulling away, paying less interest to you, and showering you with less affection than you used to get. In desperation, you inundate them with more loving words and make the effort to spend more time with them. You literally reschedule all of your events so you can be around them. However, this is only met once more with your partner pulling away further and seeming more disinterested than ever.
Why is that? Well, the truth is, by trying to keep your partner close to you...you're actually pushing them further away. That's because you're not giving them the space they need to grow and to think. Your boyfriend or girlfriend is a human, too, and the truth is that they have their own life and their own dreams. They want to know that they have the space and support to do the things that they want to do some of the time.
By holding onto your man or woman tighter, you're effectively saying that you don't think you're worth as much as your partner. You are devaluing yourself when you're actually worth just as much. People want to feel like they've got a great catch (and your partner chose you because you are that great catch) so, by devaluing yourself, you're effectively telling them that you don’t think that you’re worth much. By devaluing yourself, you’re effectively telling them subconsciously that you don’t think they chose a “good catch”. Men and women want to know they've made a good choice—that they've got something infinitely precious—and they definitely felt that for you at the beginning of the relationship. Put this way, your man or woman wouldn't have entered into the relationship if they didn't think they were making a good choice. To ensure they keep feeling that, you simply have to trust them and act the same way you did during the initial stages of your relationship.
It's more than that though. By clinging, although it's unintentional, you're creating an unfair pressure on your partner. They know on some level that you aren't happy and that you're struggling—and the pressure is on them to fix that. The trouble is, often your partner simply doesn’t know how to fix the problem and that can create an unfair situation. Your partner loves you; your partner absolutely doesn't want you to be sad...but he or she might not know how to make things better for you. To be honest, your happiness cannot solely rest on your partner’s shoulders anyway.
The truth is that only you can fix your situation. It sounds cliché but you have to work on yourself. Your partner was attracted to you for a reason and—in most cases—that doesn't change. The only thing that changes in a relationship is the way people behave. Perhaps something happened that triggered self-esteem issues within you and made you doubt yourself. Maybe that's spiralled out and made you believe you aren't worthy of being loved by your partner. This is false. You are worth that love. Your partner chose you. Nothing has changed.
I want to help you learn to detach from the chaotic thoughts and fears circuiting around your brain. I want to help you learn to have self-worth and love yourself. If you can love yourself, you make it so easy for everyone else to love you.
So, how do you do that? Well, first of all, please check out my previous posts '5 Tips on How to be Happy' and '3 Tips for Improving Self-Esteem'. These posts won't do the job for you but they will help you. The key is to build your own sense of worth up once more.
To save your relationship, you also need to take a step back. It sounds counter-intuitive when you're panicking about losing your partner...but try to give them a little breathing space. You might be itching to text constantly but you need to stop yourself. I know that might seem really hard and I know that it might panic you but this is for the good of your relationship.
Besides, don't you want to be able to breathe easily again and feel that same sense of confidence that you felt when you and your partner first got together?
You can do that. To help you, I'm going to do my very best to give you exercises which will improve your confidence and help you to be more mindful. If you're in touch with the present time and your current settings, you're not worrying about your relationship and its future. This should help to relieve some of the pressure you feel and help you learn to be a lot calmer.
This blog post has run on a bit too long. I'll cover mindfulness and give you some really helpful tips in my next blog. In the meantime, please remember that you are stronger and worthier than you think. Trust and believe in yourself.
F x
Great. What happens when you overdo it though? You might find that your partner is pulling away, paying less interest to you, and showering you with less affection than you used to get. In desperation, you inundate them with more loving words and make the effort to spend more time with them. You literally reschedule all of your events so you can be around them. However, this is only met once more with your partner pulling away further and seeming more disinterested than ever.
Why is that? Well, the truth is, by trying to keep your partner close to you...you're actually pushing them further away. That's because you're not giving them the space they need to grow and to think. Your boyfriend or girlfriend is a human, too, and the truth is that they have their own life and their own dreams. They want to know that they have the space and support to do the things that they want to do some of the time.
By holding onto your man or woman tighter, you're effectively saying that you don't think you're worth as much as your partner. You are devaluing yourself when you're actually worth just as much. People want to feel like they've got a great catch (and your partner chose you because you are that great catch) so, by devaluing yourself, you're effectively telling them that you don’t think that you’re worth much. By devaluing yourself, you’re effectively telling them subconsciously that you don’t think they chose a “good catch”. Men and women want to know they've made a good choice—that they've got something infinitely precious—and they definitely felt that for you at the beginning of the relationship. Put this way, your man or woman wouldn't have entered into the relationship if they didn't think they were making a good choice. To ensure they keep feeling that, you simply have to trust them and act the same way you did during the initial stages of your relationship.
It's more than that though. By clinging, although it's unintentional, you're creating an unfair pressure on your partner. They know on some level that you aren't happy and that you're struggling—and the pressure is on them to fix that. The trouble is, often your partner simply doesn’t know how to fix the problem and that can create an unfair situation. Your partner loves you; your partner absolutely doesn't want you to be sad...but he or she might not know how to make things better for you. To be honest, your happiness cannot solely rest on your partner’s shoulders anyway.
The truth is that only you can fix your situation. It sounds cliché but you have to work on yourself. Your partner was attracted to you for a reason and—in most cases—that doesn't change. The only thing that changes in a relationship is the way people behave. Perhaps something happened that triggered self-esteem issues within you and made you doubt yourself. Maybe that's spiralled out and made you believe you aren't worthy of being loved by your partner. This is false. You are worth that love. Your partner chose you. Nothing has changed.
I want to help you learn to detach from the chaotic thoughts and fears circuiting around your brain. I want to help you learn to have self-worth and love yourself. If you can love yourself, you make it so easy for everyone else to love you.
So, how do you do that? Well, first of all, please check out my previous posts '5 Tips on How to be Happy' and '3 Tips for Improving Self-Esteem'. These posts won't do the job for you but they will help you. The key is to build your own sense of worth up once more.
To save your relationship, you also need to take a step back. It sounds counter-intuitive when you're panicking about losing your partner...but try to give them a little breathing space. You might be itching to text constantly but you need to stop yourself. I know that might seem really hard and I know that it might panic you but this is for the good of your relationship.
Besides, don't you want to be able to breathe easily again and feel that same sense of confidence that you felt when you and your partner first got together?
You can do that. To help you, I'm going to do my very best to give you exercises which will improve your confidence and help you to be more mindful. If you're in touch with the present time and your current settings, you're not worrying about your relationship and its future. This should help to relieve some of the pressure you feel and help you learn to be a lot calmer.
This blog post has run on a bit too long. I'll cover mindfulness and give you some really helpful tips in my next blog. In the meantime, please remember that you are stronger and worthier than you think. Trust and believe in yourself.
F x
Wednesday, 4 February 2015
Dilemma: A Stage Review
On Saturday evening, I had the delightful
experience of attending Origins Theatre Company's production of Dilemma
at the Trinity Theatre, Cowes.
Dilemma is a one-act play revolving around a couple who have decided to take
part in a reality TV show in the hopes that they can save their marriage. The
reality show, Dilemma, claims to offer marital guidance to struggling
couples by sending them away to St. Lucia for a week-long all expenses paid
holiday. By the end of the holiday, the lucky couple must return to the TV
studio and come to a life-altering decision—whether to stay together or
separate.
Pete Stockman and Lorna Wilson were very
convincing as the estranged couple, Brian and Rebecca. In particular, Pete was
excellent as he grappled over which choice would ultimately be the best for
everyone involved.
As well as trying to working out their own
relationship problems, the couple also found themselves drawn into the affairs
of the supposedly “poverty-stricken” waiter, Alex (played by Reuben Loake).
Reuben, as Alex, gave an exceptional
performance as he attempted to seduce Brian’s wife and gleefully duped the duo
out of a large sum of money.
Dilemma
wouldn’t have been complete
without the glamorous TV presenter, Stevie (played by Marie Hickman). From
playing a superficial presenter onset to offering touching monologues
off-screen, Marie’s performance—as Stevie—was particularly memorable as she
sought to find the right words to say to win back her ex-boyfriend.
Skilfully directed by Kevin Wilson, Dilemma unfolded with a plethora of
comical twists and turns, keeping the audience entertained from start to
finish.
Highlights from the play included Rebecca
(played by Lorna Wilson) struggling to resist her growing feelings for Alex, as
well as Stevie’s nonchalant reaction to Brian’s dramatic final decision on the
TV set of Dilemma.
For those of you
who missed out on Dilemma, Origins
Theatre Company will be performing Agatha Christie’s Appointment with Death at Shanklin Theatre from the 18th-21st
of February.
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